For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
