I heard we made out
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
