i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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