She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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