Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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