he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
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