how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
