If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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