im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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