Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
