i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
