no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
