Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
