So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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