I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Randomize
