Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the day after is always just damage control
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
whose ass print is on the piano?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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