You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
