Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
