I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
