i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
