I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
