just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
We talked him into tasing himself.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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