doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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