Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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