Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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