Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
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The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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