Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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