words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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