My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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