i just had sex bonerless
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
