made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
