So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
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If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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