FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
