New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
