i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
