So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She bit a glass in half.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
