I saw his package. It spoke to me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
