I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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