maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
