Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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