I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i think i just lost a toe
I think my moral compass just broke
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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