Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(607): View more from New York

Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.

(1-607): View more from New York

I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?

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(314): View more from Missouri

just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

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23 Times Kids Said the Harshest Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.

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(425): View more from Washington

In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter

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(623): View more from Arizona

Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there

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(678): View more from Georgia

He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.

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(716): View more from New York

I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!

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