found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
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I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
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Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.