Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(360): View more from Washington

You know you think of me naked too

(210): View more from Texas

Not since I found Jesus

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(360): You know you think of me naked too (210): Not since I found Jesus http://tfl.nu/jext

Replies (14) Good night (905) Bad night (1639)
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(907): View more from Alaska

He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.

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(907): He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED. http://tfl.nu/5p57

Replies (10) Good night (2593) Bad night (925)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

dude why did you let me call her?!

(1-803): View more from South Carolina

i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...

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(803): dude why did you let me call her?! (1-803): i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation... http://tfl.nu/4h0w

Replies (11) Good night (1055) Bad night (2581)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher

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(734): Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher http://tfl.nu/nr2j

Replies (22) Good night (703) Bad night (2841)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases

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(724): Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases http://tfl.nu/ns4i

Replies (53) Good night (10366) Bad night (1039)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour

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(978): u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour http://tfl.nu/oz5v

Replies (10) Good night (1497) Bad night (3384)
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(573): View more from Missouri

Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12

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(573): Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12 http://tfl.nu/xbs4

Replies (12) Good night (3891) Bad night (1246)
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(314): View more from Missouri

she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now

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(314): she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now http://tfl.nu/v305

Replies (5) Good night (2123) Bad night (716)
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(423): View more from Tennessee

Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.

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(423): Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone. http://tfl.nu/b7in

Replies (10) Good night (2133) Bad night (589)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.

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(513): Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation. http://tfl.nu/lwvq

Replies (3) Good night (1219) Bad night (427)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.

(1-918): View more from Oklahoma

Basically.

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(918): Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god. (1-918): Basically. http://tfl.nu/nlil

Replies (8) Good night (3021) Bad night (606)
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(606): View more from Kentucky

I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.

(1-606): View more from Kentucky

At least that would be something.

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(606): I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting. (1-606): At least that would be something. http://tfl.nu/23qn

Replies (4) Good night (724) Bad night (407)
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(413): View more from Massachusetts

Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.

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(413): Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him. http://tfl.nu/18mb

Replies (1) Good night (1173) Bad night (375)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...

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(651): They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times... http://tfl.nu/mx07

Replies (1) Good night (585) Bad night (253)
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(360): View more from Washington

I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.

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(360): I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine. http://tfl.nu/mtza

Replies (1) Good night (444) Bad night (154)

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