Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
