Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
