he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.