She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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