i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
