genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
if only i could text you this smell
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
