But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
