I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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