I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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