chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Slut skills are useful in every country.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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