hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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