Ambien. No doubt about it.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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