can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
