I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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