So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
