Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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