when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize