Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
wat bout pragnant strippers??
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
