Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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