"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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