i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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