Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Jerry, you need to find god
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
