I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
