and you said cock pushups were impossible
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
